Ooo! It's a fight!!!

I am feeling pessimistic about my usually optimistic outlook on life! My concern, am I too optimistic? Is that possible? Or, should I be more of a realist? Or, maybe it is my usually optimistic attitude that is getting me into trouble. The phrases that my husband loves to throw back in my face when I am down are the same phrases I say to him all the time, "this could be worst" or "you chose to be happy".  If I don't have positive expectations about things then they can't let me down right?

 Maybe that has been my problem all along. I felt too happy about faith and religion and it has let me down. Just like my expectations for a society that wants the best for ALL people, it has let me down too. Because we all know that we don't live in a happy world where people care about others. We live in a society where, more often then not, people are looking out for their own best interest, not the betterment of their fellow man or woman. And lots of churches are doing the same thing. They don't want to help families where husbands are dying because they aren't sure the family has been "wise" with their money and they don't want to enable a family to continue to make poor choices especially if it is under the guise of charity. They might give the impression to the community they "serve" that they are just handing out money to anyone with a sob story and wouldn't that be horrible. (Can you hear the sarcasim in my typing?) 

No, I think my optimistic attitude must go. It just can't survive in this word.


Or... is it the other way around? Shouldn't we all allow our optimistic attitudes to get the better of us? Wouldn't we be happier, more satisfied individuals if we were looking for the silver lining in the situations we face? Wouldn't our happiness and joy rub off on the others with which we interact thereby, making our small world better? Part of me would like to think that the whole "Pay it forward" concept would work. So if I do a nice thing for ten people and they all do a nice thing for ten people and it exponentially grows until everyone on the planet has had their life changed for the positive. But wait! Isn't that how spreading the gospel is suppose to work? And last I checked, Christ hasn't returned yet right?


And so my pessimistic/optimistic battle continues. Wish me luck in solving this.